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Beautiful in White (Part 2)

              

This is the second part of a series. For the first part CLICK HERE.

Thus it began officially. He got a job in the same town Esosa lived in with her parents. Esosa also got a job. Between their busy schedules, every single free moment they got was spent together. It became one of the inside jokes of their group. If you couldn't reach him, you called Esosa. The reverse was also the case. He became more enamoured with her. The thought of her smile made him grin at odd times. He had not yet given her a ring, but he daydreamed about her dressed in a snow-white wedding gown declaring her love for him before an audience. He couldn't imagine being in love with someone else. He loved her to the point he sometimes felt inadequate. Like a destitute supplicant offering one naira at his God's temple, he feared he would never love her in the way she needed to be love. Whenever he told her this, she would always reassure him that he was enough for her.

They had already started making plans together for their future. They were undecided about moving to Canada because of their friends. They knew that they would miss them terribly. But one thing they knew they wanted above all things were kids. They loved children. He loved their innocence while she loved how cute they were. He wanted a girl, she wanted a boy. They settled for two.

The next job he got, this time at WorldOIL was the beginning of the end. As an entry-level employee, he was required to take a complete health examination. That was how he found out he was AS. His dreams were obliterated with just those two letters. He had always assumed he was AA, basing this assumption on the fact that his elder brother was AA. He remembered being the one to reassure Esosa when she had brought up her blood genotype as AS. He cursed himself for being so bold to say he was AA without any proof. 

        Esosa took the news in stride. As she sat across from him in the restaurant, he could see the news had shaken her despite her efforts to hide it. 

"There goes our kids." She joked weakly.

He couldn't bring himself to even smile.

"I'm sorry." He said.

You've been saying that since and I've told you it's okay. We can still get married. We'll probably adopt. We can make this work!"

"You deserve your own kids."

"And we deserve each other too. So just stop this moaning. You are the one I love. Not some children that don't exist yet, you! I love you!"

He broke down in tears at this point. 

Those words kept replaying in his head as she came over to his seat and held him while he sobbed. 

       Over the following weeks, this moment was with him all the time. He even dreamt about it at night. It added to the Esosa's goodness. He felt even more strongly that she deserved more than he could give. He knew how much she loved children. There was a time she couldn't stop talking about her cousin's baby. He remembered how contagious her adoration was. He eventually concluded he would do what was best for her. When his uncle suggested he should move to the States, he consented. 

     He left Nigeria after writing a lengthy letter to Esosa . In the letter, he told her to forgive him and forget him. He was doing it for her. She deserved every single drop of happiness there was in the universe. 

   On his arrival in the United States, he severed all contacts with the group. He couldn't stand anything that reminded him of her. The pain was just too much, so he threw himself completely into assimilating into his new surroundings. Going through the motions during the day and suffocated by the crushing heartache at night.

  All that was seven years ago. He had become coincidentally reacquainted with Junior when he came to the States to study for his Masters. As he sat at the table looking at them; Osagie bouncing a baby on his knees, Fejiro and Chinyere with their husbands, he noticed Laura leaning on his shoulder. They all were so happy. He knew he couldn't attend another wedding ceremony with these people. The next time, Esosa would be seated at the same table, this time with her husband. He wasn't sure he could bear it. 

    As he looked up at Esosa, dressed in white with her, he knew he still loved her. He felt infinite happiness for her and unending sorrow for himself.

The End.


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